You just made me feel so damn special
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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