I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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