Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
