I'm so fucking centered right now
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
