his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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