I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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