i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
