doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
