I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
