i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize