mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
