I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
