You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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