her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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