Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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