it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
