I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
