What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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