Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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