I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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