Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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