Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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