ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
