Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
