why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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