Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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