would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
