They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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