She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Boobs are out for the taking
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
