just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think a kid would responsible me up
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
