So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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