I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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