apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize