It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I love you.
Bad choice
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
