He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish i was in the wii world.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
