i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
