Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
