we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just had sex on a roof
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
