she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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