On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
"it" just moved
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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