i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
