I hate all girls vehemently.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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