hotel room ftw
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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