Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
