at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
