Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
