.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
