Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
