all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
