i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
