Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
