I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
