I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
