all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
