This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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