check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
