I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
