So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You're a waste of cheezeits
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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