so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
