Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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