And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
