It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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