that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
