I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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